< shift/library / relationships

Sensate Focus (Intimacy Rebuilding)

relationships · medium · 20-30 minutes, 2-3x per week

What is Sensate Focus (Intimacy Rebuilding)?

Masters & Johnson's protocol for couples who've lost physical connection: structured touch exercises that remove performance pressure and rebuild intimacy from scratch. No sex allowed initially — just touch, presence, and rediscovery.

Is there evidence for it?

EVIDENCEstrong

How do you do Sensate Focus (Intimacy Rebuilding)?

  1. 1.Stage 1 (Week 1-2): Non-genital touching only. Take turns: one partner touches the other (arms, back, legs, face, hands) for 15-20 minutes while the receiver simply notices sensations. No sex, no goal
  2. 2.Stage 2 (Week 3-4): Add genital touching, but still no intercourse. The focus remains on sensation, not arousal. Communicate what feels good, redirect what doesn't
  3. 3.Stage 3 (Week 5+): Gradually reintroduce intercourse, keeping the focus on sensation and connection rather than performance or orgasm
  4. 4.Key rules: the toucher explores for their OWN interest (what does this skin feel like?), the receiver gives feedback (more/less pressure, different spot). No mind-reading
  5. 5.Do these exercises 2-3x per week. Turn off phones, lock the door, light a candle if you want. This is sacred time for your relationship

How long does it take?

20-30 minutes, 2-3x per week.

Is it hard to start?

medium.

PRACTICE ITComposed days — 5 minute guided meditationFree guided audio, no signup, nothing to install. From Neuro Atelier, our meditation studio.
Source: Masters & Johnson (Human Sexual Inadequacy), sex therapy protocols, Esther Perel
relationships · emotional · stress · health
> find what fits you

Related in relationships

Couples MeditationShared meditation practices between partners including synchronized breathing, eye-gazing, and...Post-Argument Repair ProtocolGottman's research: it's not whether you fight that predicts divorce — it's whether you REPAIR. This protocol...Emotional Bid Recognition TrainingGottman's research found that couples who divorced 'turned toward' each other's emotional bids only 33% of...The Platinum RuleThe Golden Rule says 'treat others as you want to be treated.' The Platinum Rule upgrades this to 'treat...Four Horsemen Antidotes (Gottman Conflict Protocol)Gottman's research identified four communication patterns — criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and...Family Systems Therapy (Bowen)Working with Bowen's concept of differentiation of self to reduce emotional reactivity in family...

> everything in relationships

This is one entry from the library Shift matches against. It is general information, not advice about you, and nothing on this page came from anyone's conversation.