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Shared Meaning Rituals (Gottman)

relationships · easy · 15-30 min/week for creation, then ongoing

What is Shared Meaning Rituals (Gottman)?

John Gottman's research identifies 'shared meaning' as the highest level of his Sound Relationship House model. Couples who create intentional rituals of connection — specific, repeatable moments that hold symbolic significance — report higher relationship satisfaction and a stronger sense of 'we-ness' that buffers against external stressors.

Is there evidence for it?

EVIDENCEstrong

How do you do Shared Meaning Rituals (Gottman)?

  1. 1.Map your existing rituals: how do you greet each other, say goodbye, eat meals, go to bed?
  2. 2.Identify at least one daily ritual to make intentional (e.g., a 6-second kiss goodbye, a nightly gratitude exchange)
  3. 3.Create one weekly ritual: a Saturday morning coffee talk, a Sunday walk, a Friday movie night
  4. 4.Discuss what these rituals mean to each of you — the symbolism matters more than the activity
  5. 5.Protect your rituals fiercely: they are non-negotiable appointments with your relationship

How long does it take?

15-30 min/week for creation, then ongoing.

Is it hard to start?

easy.

Source: Dr. John Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999)
relationships · rituals · connection · couples · gottman · meaning
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