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Relationship Check-Ins

social · medium · 30 minutes weekly or bi-weekly

What is Relationship Check-Ins?

Scheduled conversations with your partner, family, or close friends to discuss what's working, what isn't, and what each person needs. Prevents small issues from becoming big ones.

Is there evidence for it?

EVIDENCEmoderate

How do you do Relationship Check-Ins?

  1. 1.Schedule a weekly or bi-weekly 30-minute check-in at a consistent time (e.g., Sunday evening)
  2. 2.Each person shares: one appreciation, one thing that's been challenging, one request for the upcoming period
  3. 3.Use 'I' statements and NVC structure: 'I felt X when Y happened because I need Z'
  4. 4.Listen without defending — the goal is understanding, not problem-solving (unless asked)
  5. 5.End with one specific action each person commits to for the next period

How long does it take?

30 minutes weekly or bi-weekly.

Is it hard to start?

medium.

Source: John Gottman (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 1999). Gottman's research: couples who have regular 'state of the union' conversations are significantly less likely to divorce. Adapted broadly for friendships and family relationships.
relationships · communication · partner · family · preventive · emotional-health
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